Because sometimes it can go from love to hate, here is a personal and hurting letter : From love to hate !
From love to hate : A personal and hurting letter
I have loved you.
A little, a lot, too much. Tenderly and passionately. I have been honest, unreserved, sincere. From the beginning until the end. I have granted you my trust, given you my time, invested my energy in order to build – at least that was what I thought, what I hoped – a beautiful story. I have given you all of that, as well as my body and my heart. My soul. I thought we were connected, magnetic. I wanted to see a unique story within our special bond, an alchemy of bodies, an osmosis of feelings, an unyielding reciprocity.
I thought you were the one.
My other, my obvious, new found and yet familiar. I have allowed hope to guide me, thinking that our story finally had the right to exist in broad daylight. Yes I believed, after so many ordeals, frustrations and bad choices, so much pain endured, that it was finally obvious.
It’s true, I should have known better. I opened up my heart for you and you stepped on it. I gave you my trust, total and blind and you used me. Yes used. It was only ever a game to you. Sneaky, unhealthy and dishonest. A seduction game, a dare, a mean of filling your void, of helping you forget the boredome of your existence. I was recreational. A toy within your grasp, a ragdoll.
Read also : Sad love letter that makes you cry
Luckily, I woke up, I took a step back, I managed to say NO MORE! No more tears, no more false hope, no more unhealthy exchanges, no more useless illusions. Love is not a power game, an imbalance, a constant guilt. Yet that was how you defined it.
I am not your woman, not your mistress.
Today we are nothing to each other. Do you really believe I am so dependent to you, in love, fragile, that I would live in the shadow of a forever false relationship, a slave to your virtual fantasies, making up for your unassumed and unfulfilled wants?
There is no room for me around you, you hide me behind the screen of your virtual double life. You never take responsibility. You are pathetic.
So today is a great victory because I don’t suffer daily anymore.
I don’t cry anymore, I don’t think about you all the time anymore. I haven’t forgotten you – that is of course impossible – but I have cut the cord from this toxic relationship that was slowly putting out the flickering flame I had become.
Do I despise you? Does it all boil down to hate? Sometimes yes. I have often wanted to scream, to slap you as I read your offensive words, so guilt inducing, so cold. I will never understand viciousness. And just like love, hatred requires energy. So much – too much. And I don’t want to lose any in vain anymore. I don’t want to be affectively dependent, at your disposal, foolishly flattered by your meaningless small gestures, manipulated.
Today I have taken my distance from this overflow of feelings, from your words, from you.
Today I just want to say : “Too bad, you ruined everything”. Love isn’t using the other to fill up your own emptiness.
Today I don’t love you anymore. Wether I hate you or not depends on you.
