In order to cheer up someone who just got dumped, you’ve got to understand how a heartbreak messes with your brain, so allow me to show you how being a better listener can help when your friend is hurt.
The end of a relationship can make you feel like the world is falling apart! It all crumbles down, explosions occur and all that is left are pain and regret. It’s not easy to comfort someone who has just been dumped, essentially because you have to put aside your own interpretations and ill-founded advice. Understanding someone else’s pain requires true qualities such as empathy and being a good listener, and that isn’t something you find in everyone.
How to cheer up someone who just got dumped ?
A love story is the result of hopes and dreams leading to a path of union and understanding. However long the story lasts, it is always important as long as hearts are involved!
A new relationship is kind of like building a house :
You build it brick by brick, foundations first, then the coating to make it strong, you decorate each square inch with skill and make an interior that resonates with your heart : you move in EVERYTHING that brings together union and perfection. And you know it’s fragile, but you take care of it like the apple of your eye, because your will to move forward and to succeed is stronger than everything else.
You all know that a relationship is far from being something obvious and easy, but it doesn’t matter, because you are ready to go all in and even to ignore character, opinion or compromise impossibilities. Love MUST win and so you keep taking that path that will lead you to the world you have been dreaming of.
A brutal breakup without a warning
Never, ever, could you imagine even for a second that a breakup would knock on your door and ask for you to leave! When it comes face to face with you, you try to reason politely with it and send it away, but… despite your best efforts, despite your desires and your hopes it will just stand there and ask you to say goodbye to that “other” who was everything to you.
Read also : Letter to my best friend going through divorce
How do you cheer up someone who just got dumped?
Listening
Goethe once said that if talking was a need, listening was an art. Listening requires for you to let go in order to enter a world that isn’t yours. You will have to close your eyes to your own opinions and experiences. You are facing someone who is hurt and who has lost all notion of identity or certainty in regards to the future. The best you can do is to let that person talk and then tell him/her that you understand and that you are there for him/her. Give that person the time needed to pour out his/her grief and I promise you that your listening will make all the difference in the world.
Don’t give advice
Advice is often a projection of your own past experiences and wouldn’t correspond to the person you are giving it to. It is not your life and you are not in his/her head, so don’t nudge him/her in a direction he/she wouldn’t ultimately pick for him/herself.
Time heals all wounds
Tell your friend to take the time to heal his/her wounds by taking care of him/herself and of his/her wellbeing. A breakup is first and foremost a loss of identity that he/she will need to find again as soon as possible.
Be there
The best thing you can do is being there to listen again and again to your friend’s crying, sadness and doubts. Your being there is worth all the gifts and treasures in the world, because as long as there still is a shoulder to cry on, how bad could things really be?
Don’t judge
You might have your own opinion about this relationship on which you wouldn’t have bet a nickel. If such is the case, zip it! Judgment will serve no purpose and will only give body to bad ideas and negative thoughts that won’t help your friend move forward. This isn’t your story and this isn’t your pain so don’t judge what doesn’t belong to you.
Every breakup in the world is hard, however long it takes for the people involved to heal. They are all special, they are all set within a unique story and they are all terribly painful. We all get there sooner or later… But each breakup makes you grow by unfortunately making you take a path of suffering that allows you to question yourself and to change as you walk towards your new destination. Cheering up someone who just got dumped requires for you to be patient and to listen, because unfortunately, it will be up to the one who is in pain to get back up and to open his/herself to a new future.
